Because I'm Percy and I'm disgusting
by Little-Miss-Writer09
Summary: How far would you go to keep a secret? Endure a woman's wrath? Is Percy prepared to wear women's underware? And what's this? Thalia's love for cameras? And how did Annabeth make Ares proud? One-shot


Hiya folks! This is my first try at the Percy Jackson universe so let's see how it goes ok?

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Percy Jackson or anything related. If you can recognize it I don't own it!

Based on an episode of Friends…

_"How can we accept another to keep our secret if we have been unable to keep it ourselves?"_

_-__François de La Rochefoucauld._

**I'm Percy Jackson and I'm disgusting.**

Keeping a secret is a respectable and legendary tradition. That's why one should never agree to do it. If you truly appreciate your life then take this advice and never ever, EVER agree to keep a secret. Percy Jackson can tell you all about the perils of such a task. For him it all started with a pencil.

"Hey! That was my last one!" Annabeth screamed when Thalia broke her last pencil and threw it out the window. Although said pencil's identity was subjected to questioning since it barely resembled one now that Annabeth had mutilated it with her mouth; Now it was more known as the object with which Annabeth would constantly draw.

"Well If you stopped eating it I wouldn't find myself in the necessary situation of breaking it would I?" Thalia snapped back.

Annabeth crossed her arms and glared at her best friend. "How I'm I supposed to draw without my pencil?"

Thalia shrugged, "Just get a new one Annabeth, don't be childish please."

"Well excuse me Miss Immortal Lieutenant I didn't know it was childish to have a concern on the possibility of being blasted to pieces by your own mother for not doing my job!"

A flash of guilt was reflected on Thalia's face for a second that struck Annabeth as odd.

"I'm sorry ok? Let's just look for another one. Maybe you left a spare at Percy's Cabin" Annabeth searched for any sarcasm in Thalia's face but found none. Resolving it might actually be true, both friends headed for Percy's cabin.

The place in itself was deserted, Percy was probably off somewhere teaching Nico some new card game.

Probably poker.

Even without his guidance, Annabeth could find her way around. She searched everywhere leaving the bed for last.

Thalia jokingly told her it might be her most dangerous quest to date. Neither one was prepared to find a pair of revealing black, lacy panties under Percy's bed.

Thalia's face went white but Annabeth's changed color so fast the goddess Iris would've been proud.

In her defense, Thalia did try to stop her but Annabeth listen to no one. In her mind Percy was a lying, cheating, evil, little cockroach that deserved no pity.

As previously stated, Percy was really teaching Nico poker, just not anywhere but in the arena where most campers where gathered because someone thought it would be way more fun to turn it into a tournament.

Annabeth barged as mad as Hades when he couldn't find his Hitler briefs. Dangling form a skinny finger was the offending piece of lingerie. She shoved it at Percy's face with such ferocity and blood lust Ares was beaming, not caring about making a scene.

Annabeth was so wrapped up in her ingenious plans of creative ways of making Percy scream in agony, she failed to notice the flash of recognition on Nico's eyes.

"What is the meaning of this Percy?! Why did I find _these_ in _your_ cabin?! Under _your _bed?!"

Percy stared at the panties then at Annabeth, an adorable confused look that in any other time Annabeth would've found amusing, emerged. Finally he focused on Annabeth's right shoulder or more exactly on person behind said shoulder: Thalia. Who at the moment was seconds away of inventing a way to send smoke signals to Percy without Annabeth knowing.

Nico, fortunately, did understand and jumped to the rescue. Well to Thalia's rescue anyway.

"They're Percy's!"

Ok, so it wasn't his best idea but it was the first thing he could come up with.

"What?" Annabeth's anger faded. Just a bit.

"I-I-I saw him buy them!"

Annabeth turn to face Percy. "You bought panties? Lacy panties?"

Percy turned which way he could but no answers were to be found.

"I... umm... was experimenting? I-I-I... thought they were comfortable."

Why oh why couldn't he say he bought them for her? Anything else but saying he wore them!

Annabeth's eyes widened in shock and she dragged her eyes to the panties watching them questioningly.

_"He thought they were comfortable_?" seemed to be her only thought.

Her boyfriend liked to wear woman's underwear?

Annabeth sat down besides Percy, placed the panties in his hands and bit her lip worriedly. Percy on the other hand fumed silently, glaring daggers at Nico for getting him in this mess.

"Percy its not my intention to be rude or anything but…why?" Percy looked at Annabeth, whether or not he wanted he had made Nico a promise. He took a deep breath.

"Becuase…I'm Percy…and I'm disgusting."

***

For two days Percy endured the snickers and taunts from everyone at camp. He even caught Chiron staring at him oddly. Little did he know it was only the beginning.

It was a peaceful afternoon at Camp Half-Blood. The Stoll Brothers had been sent to gardening duty for being caught smuggling fried chicken into camp.

Percy was currently in the big house munching on a chicken wing waiting for Annabeth to come out of her 'meeting'. Previously that day Annabeth had lost it with a few Aphrodite campers, unfortunately for her they had an alliance with the Ares cabin and soon a full on battle had broken lose. Everyone involved had gotten punishments , part of the reason why camp was so peaceful, and now Annabeth, Clarisse and Melissa (Aphrodite cabin leader) were in a 'meeting'.

Percy glanced around looking for something to entertain himself. He spotted a notebook hidden beneath a couch. Curiously he took it out, in the movement some papers fell out of it. Pictures apparently.

The second he had retrieved them a door opened at the other side of the room and the girls came out. It took Percy a glance at the pictures to know he was on some deep shit.

"Is that who I think it is?" Clarisse asked with a wolfish grin as she squinted at the pictures.

Melissa's eyes grew ten times their size. "Wait! Let me out before the fighting starts!" she said.

Melissa went around Percy and sat down at the aforementioned couch. "Ok. Proceed."

Annabeth opened her mouth to protest but closed it before she said anything. By now she HAD learned her lesson when it came to Aphrodite kids.

Percy grinned at the antics of the girl but realized he was still in some deep shit therefore he settled for his I'm-innocent-i-swear face.

"Percy, why do you have pictures of Thalia? Without her clothes?" Percy gulped as the thought crossed his mind that Annabeth knew his vulnerable spot and just how much pain she could inflict on it.

"They're not mine." He defended himself. Clarisse, who by now had seated herself beside Melissa and gotten (somehow) popcorn, shared a look with the girl beside her.

"Oldest excuse in the book." Melissa muttered.

"Then whose are they?" Annabeth demanded. Percy frowned, he could either tell the truth and betray someones trust behind their back or he could make himself a fool. Again.

Damn, his loyalty got in the way. He sighed resigned.

"I'm Percy ok? I'm disgusting. I eat chicken and look at dirty pictures of Thalia at the same time. Ok? I'm disgusting!"

The silence that followed was so deep and so long for a second Percy wondered if the world stopped.

"Now THIS is good gossip" Melissa gushed breaking the silence. The trance was broken. Annabeth saw red.

Everything in her way became a weapon and her target was Percy. Even Clarisse cheered on her side.

*** *** ***

Percy glared at anything and everything in his way. He was tired of lying to Annabeth and he was going to correct that. He needed Nico and Thalia. He looked in their respective cabins with no luck. They were not in the beach or the arena. Percy stood in front of his own cabin with one horrible thought: they could be inside. Percy grimaced.

Last week when he was sworn to secrecy he had,out of the goodness of his heart and some money, offered his cabin to them.

Hey , they were friends in need! In need of a place to hide in.

He was regretting ever accepting.

Percy stood in front of his cabin and he was afraid. But he needed them to tell the truth, and get them clothed before Annabeth got there.

Percy had sent her a message for her to meet him at his cabin to talk and if Nico and Thalia were there everything would right itself.

He knocked three times, paused and knocked two times more. A few seconds later the door opened.

Nothing would've prepared him for what he was about to see.

Nico hauled him inside and closed the door rapidly. "What?" he hissed.

"Get dressed. Annabeth's coming and I'm telling!"

Thalia emerged from the closet she was hiding in wrapped in Percy's sheets.

"Oh come on!" Percy whined, "Don't use my things!" Nico walked over beside Thalia and casually wrapped his arms around her.

"I'll wash them if that makes you feel better?" Thalia suggested. "Only if I'm invited." Nico replied and kissed her neck. Percy turned around groaning.

"Just do me a favor and burn them!" Nico and Thalia shared a smile, Percy was such a prude.

"Will you two get dressed already! Annabeth's going to be here any minute!"

That got them moving.

"Percy! I can't tell Annabeth right now! I need to come up with a story!! Get prepared, she's going to bite my head off!" Thalia complained slipping into a shirt.

Percy turned around, relieved they both had clothes on.

"Tell her the truth then! I'll hold her down if you need me too!" Percy suggested.

"Percy! We will tell her just not now!"

"Tell me what?" Annabeth asked while coming in. "What the-"

WAIT! First lets take a moment to analyze the exact state in which Percy's cabin now looked to understand Annabeth's reaction. Nico had outdone himself this time. After all this time it was all going on tape. He pushed all the furniture to the sides, placing a blanket in the middle of it all, littered around were dozens of candles. Vanilla for Thalia and Cinnamon for him. And right there in the center were what seemed like millions of pillows. A recently acquired camera was installed in the middle too.

Now back to the story.

"What the Hades?! Percy?! What exactly were you planning?! You thought we would just kiss and make up? And CAMERA?!? Are kidding me??" Annabeth stopped at the sight of Nico and Thalia standing awkwardly beside each other. "And with them inside?!?"

Annabeth screeched so loudly somewhere in Olympus a minor god spilled his tea.

Percy took a step back and said, "Whoa, hold on!" Percy turned to look at Thalia and Nico leaving his back opened for attack, a white flag of sorts. "I'm not doing this anymore, either you do it or I will!"

Nico looked over at Thalia, "I guess it's time then." Thalia finally said. Taking a deep breath she looked at Annabeth.

"Annabeth there is something we need to tell you" Thalia started but was beat to the punch by Nico who said, "We're dating."

Annabeth opened her mouth; Annabeth sputtered helplessly; Annabeth moved her arms without any concrete idea of what to do; Annabeth closed her mouth.

"I believe that means, "Huh?"" Percy Translated. Annabeth just nodded.

Thalia smiled tightly, this was the part she was dreading, the part her pride was sure getting in the way.

The part were she would admit she had gone and gotten fired from the hunters for taking a liking to certain demigod son of Hades.

*** *** 3 years later *** ***

Technically the incident at the start of Nico and Thalia's relationship had been forgotten. It did take a few …months but finally Camp Half-Blood forgot Percy ever admitted to wearing panties.

On the night of Nico and Thalia's wedding Percy found himself in the beach remembering those days and he thought, _I still owe the Stoll brothers for that chicken._

He felt Annabeth before he saw her. He angled his head towards her to see the maid of honor.

"I got you a present" she said, slipping a box into his hands. He frowned, "Why?" he asked.

Annabeth shrugged although the ghost of a smirk was present, "I just thought it would be a nice idea"

Percy started to open the box.

"Perhaps we should get chicken first"She suggested. Percy paused.

"Please tell me there are no pictures of Thalia in there." He all but begged.

Annabeth laughed and shook her head, "Nah, something more appropriate."

Percy finished opening his present and smiled, "Why?" he asked once more.

Annabeth turned towards him taking his hand, "because I'm Annabeth and I'm disgusting. I like that my husband eats chicken and looks through pictures of me"

**The ****end****.**

**Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! **


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